


It's been a long time

by Rilaya



Category: Voltron: Legendary Defender
Genre: Gen, Introspection, Lance (Voltron) is a Mess, Lance (Voltron)-centric, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-08-20
Updated: 2018-08-20
Packaged: 2019-06-29 23:38:20
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 9,370
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15739635
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Rilaya/pseuds/Rilaya
Summary: Lance gently lowers himself onto his back, looking at the vast nothingness that sits above him, clouding and hiding the everything he knows exists. He doesn’t want to think about everything that’s going to happen in the coming week, but it makes its way to his mind anyway.





	It's been a long time

The night sky looked like someone had taken a paintbrush oversaturated with dark grey and swiped it across the stars. For all the distance they had covered, and all the sights they had seen, Lance had been filled with a unique sense of excitement about seeing what all of it looked like from Earth’s surface. As his hand dragged across the rock he sat on, he realized that this moment of disappointment was not specific to this moment. Of course, he was upset that he couldn’t see the twinkling up above him, but the clenching in his gut came from something far bigger. Something completely out of his control, just like the sky. 

  
  


Lance’s breath shook as he sighed out, willing the tears that were building to subside. He hasn’t cried in a while, not tears of sadness. He had cried when the last battle had been completed when his and the other paladins had accomplished what they had set out to do (it was more like a weep, his body wracked with shaking and ugly heaves as red comforted him as best she could). He’d been all cried out after endless realizations that the other paladins didn’t think he was on the same level as them.

  
  


The wind picked up some, blowing his hair into disarray and he could feel the atmosphere change around him. He can hear the sand and small plants around whispering to him. Based on the feeling in his chest, the weather had decided to mimic his own emotions. The tendrils of hurt tightened themselves around his heart, it had been so long since he had felt the actual rain and not some alien version of it. His mind detours to when he was young, and he and all his siblings would throw themselves around in downpours, barefoot as they played various games and collected the water to throw at each other. The soft smile that etches itself on his face is the first in a long time. 

  
  


Lance gently lowers himself onto his back, looking at the vast nothingness that sits above him, clouding and hiding the  _ everything _ he knows exists. He doesn’t want to think about everything that’s going to happen in the coming week, but it makes its way to his mind anyway. 

  
  


Allura had told the paladins that morning that she could tell the Lions were preparing to choose new pilots, and that they, the current paladins, would be able to retire from the fighting and diplomatic work that would eventually come. The news came with various reactions, all of which Lance had observed quietly. He was thrown off by the news personally, he hadn’t expected that they would all be left to deal with the aftermath without their lions, but he couldn’t say it was shocking after he thought it through. If he was, to be honest, he didn’t expect to be part of the team much longer. He hadn’t felt like he was a part of the great comradery that all the others clearly did since they had all first stepped into their lions. He remembers that Shiro had looked relieved at the news from Allura, and Lance expected that one. Shiro had been through a lot in space, and with him back with his fiance and the two of them relearning things about each other, it was unlikely he was ready to fly off for an unspecified amount of time again. 

  
  


Pidge looked conflicted, but Lance could tell they weren’t going to be too hurt in the long run. He had heard they’d been offered a position at a research facility with some of the best funding, so he figured now they didn’t have to choose between Voltron and that. Keith looked relatively horrified at the prospect of once again leaving Voltron, but masked it quickly. Lance wasn’t sure how to feel about that one, as he knows for a fact Keith didn’t plan on staying on Earth any longer than he had to. Of course, he also knows that Keith has opportunities some of them don’t because of him being part Galra and that if anything he will take a ship from the Blade of Marmora and fly himself to somewhere he’d be happier. 

  
  


Hunk looked a little bit broken, and if they hadn’t grown apart so much Lance would have been more tempted to go over and comfort him. But that wasn’t the case, and any desire he felt to rekindle their once inseparable bond was shattered when Hunk had joined in with everyone else in insulting him. So Lance turned his head away, eyes downcast towards the corner of the room as he tuned out Allura for the rest of the meeting. The rest of what was likely their last meeting as the paladins of Voltron. Lance was more distraught at having to stay on Earth and as far as human ships could take them into space for the rest of his life than the prospect of never working together with the other paladins again. A year ago that concept would have made him curl up and cry. 

  
  


It started out slow, the raindrops little more than a misting that made his skin feel damp but his clothes left with just a few dots of water here and there. Lance doesn’t move as it gets heavier, the rain pouring down onto him and the rocks around him. He keeps his eyes shut, not minding that he’s getting completely soaked and opening himself up for a fever. Any other time he might, but he’s far too preoccupied with reminiscing in the rare good times he had with the others, particularly Keith, and nerves for the next few days to force himself up. 

  
  


He understands that the other pilots they had met were likely to be chosen as the next paladins and that he’d have to be supportive and hold onto how he felt zipping around the universe and meeting new species and learning everything it had to offer. He’d have to look at himself and the scars he’d amassed and remind himself that no, it hadn’t been a dream. It’s when he sees a flash of white on his eyelids and hears the crack of thunder that he finally pulls himself up and makes his way back to the Garrison. He feels like his body has doubled in weight with his clothes being wet and all the thoughts running circles in his brain.

  
  


It’s late when he slips into the door he had propped open on his way out, later than he figured he’d be back. If he thought anything would happen if he was caught doing this maybe he wouldn’t have, but he doubts anyone is going to go looking for him at two in the morning. He also doubts anyone is going to tell a paladin of Voltron they can’t go outside. Then again, he’s not even sure if everyone realizes he’s a paladin along with the rest. 

  
  


Lance slips off his jacket as he lets the door shut behind him. He’s dripping water onto the floor, and he can see the puddle that’s beginning to form from him not moving. He walks through the halls that are dimly lit trying to convince himself that everything is going to be perfectly okay. Even though he won’t be a part of Voltron anymore soon, even if he’s lost all his friends, even if he feels like he means so little to those around him, he has his family back, he knows he’s smarter than people give him credit for. He knows even without the title of Paladin being ascribed to him, he’s capable of making a great future for himself.

  
  


Lance is so lost in thought that he doesn’t see the other figure in the hallway, or that they say his name until a hand is waving in front of his face. Lance startles, a yelp being swallowed as he snaps his head up. His momentary fear is easily washed away when he sees that it’s Ryan Kinkade, and a smile makes its way onto his face. 

 

“Hey, sorry for not answering,” Lance says, voice a bit rough from lack of use over the last few hours. 

  
  


Kinkade just gives him a smile back, and a shrug. “It’s not a problem, you looked super deep in thought but you’re also shivering so I thought I’d see if you were okay,” He says, and a hand goes to rub the back of his neck. 

  
  


Lance is glad that his face is already wet and that his eyes are already rimmed red because it’s been so long if anyone asked if he was okay that it makes his chest ache and his eyes sting. He prays he’s hiding his shock well enough. “Ah,” he breathes out, “Thanks, it’s just weird knowing I’m probably never going to be piloting Blue or Red again you know?” he asks rhetorically, “I just feel like this chapter of my life is being forced to end, and that maybe it isn’t the right time.” 

  
  


Kinkade looks like he wants to say something, but holds himself back. “From your tone, it seems like there’s a lot to those words, but we only just met a few days ago, so I don’t want to pry.” Kinkade starts to walk in the direction Lance was going, and Lance falls into step with him. “But for all it’s worth, I’ll always think of you as an amazing warrior. Whether you’re a paladin or not.” The words make Lance smile at him, a smile he usually reserves for special moments. 

  
  


“And you’ll always be someone who can shoot as sharp as I can,” Lance compliments back, knocking his shoulder into the others, and Kinkade laughs softly. Kinkade wraps an arm around Lance’s shoulder, and it’s been a good bit of time since someone has been so comfortable with him that he melts into it. He’s making small squelching sounds every time he steps, and he probably left behind a damp spot on Kinkade’s shirt, but the other doesn’t seem to mind, so he doesn’t try to totally pull away. 

  
  


“Please, I’m nowhere near as skilled as you are. Who taught you? Because honestly, I need to give them a call,” Kinkade says, eyebrow quirked up in interest. Lance had heard from pretty much everyone that Kinkade was extremely reserved, and even a little bit cold, but Lance thinks maybe they just didn’t want to give him a chance. The person he’s talking to is in no way cold.

  
  


Lance shakes his head and laughs, “Then I guess you’ll have to give me a call,” he says, and his grin is so wide he can feel that it’s showing his gums. His face heats up when he realizes how much that sounds like flirting, but it also helps to ease the anger he feels at the universe for binding up his personality into a quiet and meek person. Maybe a fresh start is what he needs to regain who he is. 

  
  


Kinkade pauses his walking, but recovers and continues on, though now he’s looking at Lance in surprise. “You… Do you mean you taught yourself how to shoot?” He asks and Lance nods in confusion. 

  
  


“Well yeah, they don’t teach shooting here at the Garrison, and no one up in space really had the skills. Allura and Coran are both close combat people. Though Coran is a bit more of someone who is going to try and talk his way out of things when and if possible.” He supplies as an answer, hands moving around to try and act out a few of his words. 

  
  


“Wow, that’s pretty amazing.” Lance assumes he’s joking at first, but then he sees the astonishment in Kinkade’s eyes and his face lights up with a blush again. 

  
  


They don’t talk for much longer, because they come upon the room that Lance has been using and he feels how tired he is starting to kick in, and he knows he has to be up in a few hours and back at the Voltron base. So they say their goodbyes, with Kinkade asking if he wants to eat breakfast together because the other has to be up the same time so he can get ready for class. Lance readily agrees, and again, he feels a small bit of tension leave his body and the prospect of making a new friend. It’s been a long time since he feels like he’s had one of those. 

 

 

* * *

 

 

Breakfast with Kinkade is enjoyable. The two of them take one of the smaller tables in the cafeteria, and the only people that bother them are some of the younger kids asking Lance if they can take a photo with him, and one of Kinkade’s classmates who comes over to give him something he had borrowed a few days ago. 

  
  


They spend the meal quietly talking about various things. Lance learns that Kinkade is from Jamaica and that one of his uncles had been what inspired him to join the Garrison. He also learns that prior to his enrollment, Kinkade was on his way to becoming a very talented surfer, and had one a few competitions. Lance is ecstatic at that and tells Kinkade that one day the two of them are going to have to find a place to surf together because he has a feeling it’s been far too long for the both of them. Kinkade agrees, and Lance makes him pinky promise. Lance tells Kinkade about the fact that the lions are going to be choosing new paladins soon, and that he’s just happy to have all of his family safe. Kinkade tells him that if his lion doesn’t want him to remain, then Lance should become a member of the Garrison’s pilot team. 

  
  


Lance tells him he might, but the Garrison has left a bad taste in his mouth, not that he tells Kinkade that. From Kinkade’s quickly added ‘or not’, his reaction must not have been very good. He’s glad that Kinkade understands. 

  
  


In the middle of the meal, he gets a message from Allura that was sent to all the paladins, that the meeting meetup has been canceled, and that they probably have a few days before any bonds are officially severed, and if they’d like they can spend those days saying goodbye to the lions. Lance has the strong urge to run to Blue and see if she’s receptive to him, so he can at least tell her that she’ll always be one of the most important things in his life, but fear holds him back. He doubts that she’d suddenly start responding to him now. 

 

“You good?” Kinkade asks and Lance rests his head on his palm. They had only known each other for a handful of days, maybe a week or so. At least, counting time that they weren’t midst war, because they didn’t interact too much during the actual heat of things. Lance thinks Kinkade is his favorite person from the Garrison because so far he’s the only person to legitimately reach out to Lance, not just for an autograph or something like that. 

  
  


Lance realizes he has yet to answer and sighs, “Princess Allura told us our get together was canceled, but that the paladins should spend the next few days saying goodbye to our lions because…,” Lance trails off, a lump forming in his throat as the gravity of the situation hits him. He swallows the pain down and forces himself to contain the number of emotions that chose this exact moment to get uncapped in him. “I’ll talk to you later Kinkade, thank you for inviting me to breakfast.” He doesn’t say anything else, just slips his communicator into his pocket and dashes out the cafe door. 

  
  


He slows once he exits the room and is in the much more empty halls. He shoves his hands into his pockets, focusing on keeping his breathing steady. A few people pass him as he makes his way to his room but he ignores them, knowing he can let himself let go once he finally gets there. It takes him multiple tries to get his keycard to slide through the activator because his hands have started to shake, but he finally gets it. The door slams behind him as he loses the strength he’s been using to hold himself up. He sits on the ground, back on the door as his head finds a place in between his knees. 

  
  


He doesn’t get up from that spot until he feels his phone buzzing a few hours later.

 

 

* * *

 

 

Lance examines his face in the small mirror he had mounted on the wall. His face looks a bit pale, and the skin under his eyes is not only rubbed raw but he has clearly defined eyebags and his nose in bright red. Other than that he’s okay, but only physically, and that’s if he doesn’t count the bandages that are wrapped around his upper left arm. He’d honestly rather spend the rest of the night doing intensive skin care and deep conditioning his hair because it’s his favorite method of self-care, but like much of his life lately, he can’t do what he wants. Of course, he could, but that would mean he’d have to cancel on Kinkade. And Kinkade is the only person that isn’t family that he’s felt normal around. 

  
  


And it’s been too long since he’s had a really nice training session that didn’t involve some thinly veiled insults be it directed at his skills or what they assumed his level of intellect to be. He needs something to grip onto before his awareness gets flushed down the pipe for an extended period of time. He shucks off his sweatpants and replaces them with a pair better suited for hand to hand combat, and his sweatshirt for a more fitted one, something not as easy to grab onto. He isn’t sure if hand to hand is what Kinkade wanted to do, but he figured he might as well prepare. Hand to hand clothes work for most other training he’s found out. 

  
  


His shoes are the last thing to go on before he’s locking his door and making his way to where Kinkade said they’d meet. Apparently the other had booked a room so they could work in peace, and so Lance wouldn’t have to worry about any Voltron fans coming to observe him. The fact that Kinkade had considered him in such a way made the tightness around his heart once again loosen, just enough so he could feel comfortable breathing again. 

  
  


On his walk to the location, Lance has more time to think. The last few hours had been filled with a complete outpour of emotion. He had cried, wept to everything he had bottled up the past few months. He had grown more and more tired of how the other paladins treated him to the point where he had started to tune them out. He thought things were finally getting better, but then everything happened with Keith’s mom, and Hunk and Pidge had grown closer. He and Allura had a few moments, but he wasn’t in that place anymore, and ever since he had explained to her that his crush on her was long gone, but he still considered her a friend and valued her, they hadn’t been very close. He understands, she had made a move and put herself on the line and must have been hurt by the rejection. 

  
  


Somewhere between sneaking out of the Garrison that fated night so long ago and Keith leaving with his mom, Lance had been cut off emotionally from the rest of the group. He’s not sure what was the cause, and for a very long time, he blamed himself. For a bit, he even believed their words. None of them ever outright called him an idiot, not at first. Even now he isn’t sure if they did it with malicious intent, but Lance is by no measures dumb, and he understands people quite well. He also understands the consequences and believes in karma. 

  
  


So even if the others didn’t originally have malicious intent behind their treatment of him, he was incredibly hurt by it, and it continues to affect his self-esteem. Lance doesn’t plan on lashing out on any of them, but he doesn’t plan on reaching out either. No one has offered an apology, since the war formally ended, and they had been permitted to use the Garrison until everything was sorted, he’s seen neither hide nor hair of any of the other paladins outside meetings. From what he heard, Keith was a guest trainer for piloting, Shiro had taken to letting the scientists do tests on his arm, and Pidge and Hunk were doing their engineering and science stuff in that department. Allura, Romelle, and Coran were working on fixing the Castle ship, doing repairs so they could set off with the lions once they chose new paladins. 

  
  


Lance blows his bangs up, it’s gotten pretty long, and the ends are starting to curl. Maybe he’ll get it cut soon.

  
  


His thoughts stray to Keith, whose relationship with him has been quite the rollercoaster. For some time, Lance thought they were moving towards something more than friendship. The two of them had grown close once they talked things over and smoothed the bumps in their friendship. They had even begun to train together, honing Lance’s relatively weak close combat skills. It came in handy, and they’d often spend time afterward just talking or watching old Altean television shows that they could find. Then something had changed. Again, Lance hadn’t the faintest clue what could have caused the switch. 

  
  


Lance’s thoughts are cut short as he sees Kinkade talking with Griffin, who walks off when he sees Lance approaching. Kinkade makes a face as he turns, saying something to other that Lance can’t discern. He tries not to dwell on it, he knows that Griffin and Keith had been getting along well, and doesn’t want to think of things Griffin may think of him. It really doesn’t matter anyway, if Lance has things his way, he’ll be talking his way into a ship and off of Earth soon anyway. And… Kinkade is who he came to hang out with, not Griffin.

  
  


Lance grins at Kinkade, holding out his fist which Kinkade promptly hits with his own. “Hey man, so what were you thinking?” He asks, throwing some mock punches in the air, “Hand to hand?” He asks, then makes finger guns, “Sharpshooting?” He adds, “I’m down for anything, I feel like I’ve been holed up in my room too much. I feel mega stiff.”

  
  


Kinkade laughs and motions with his head for Lance to follow him. “Actually, neither of those things. I know you mentioned earlier a few things that you really missed about Earth,” he says and nudges the door shut behind him, going over to one of the control panels that’s on the wall. Otherwise, the room is completely empty, the floors wooden and shiny and it’s much brighter than he figures he’s seen most other Garrison rooms. “And one of those things was dancing…, I mean we don’t have to!” He says quickly once he sees that Lance has a very wide-eyed expression creeping onto his face. “I just-I like dancing and stuff too and no one here is really into that and people usually don’t really-,” He starts but Lance cuts him off with an excited squeak. 

  
  


“Are you kidding!” He says, waving off Kinkade’s concern. “I haven’t legit danced in so long, much less in something like a studio.” He gazes at the mirrors on the walls and gives Kinkade another one of his special moment smiles. “I really appreciate this, and we can absolutely dance together,” He tells him, patting Kinkade’s shoulder. 

  
  


“What do you prefer?” Kinkade asks all tension gone from his posture as he appears to be flipping through song selections. Lance thanks the moment to remove his shoes and socks, knowing if he’s going to be dancing he’s going to want to be able to move better than his sneakers let him. 

 

“I love contemporary dance, but if you want I can follow your lead and we can go from there?” Lance suggests, not minding in the slightest what they end up doing. His mind is nearly completely pulled from the reverie that it was stuck in, and his body abuzz with anticipation instead takes focus. 

  
  


Kinkade gives him a smirk, pressing the button and kicking off his own shoes, pulling Lance to the middle of the room, being careful of the arm with the bandage. “You know, I’m very glad we ran into each other in the hallway last night,” Kinkade comments, and Lance wants to tell him he thinks they’re going to get along great, but then the music starts, and Kinkade gives him a wicked grin before throwing himself into the song, and Lance doesn’t want to fall behind. 

  
  


He’s never heard the song before, but it’s perfect to do ballet along with, so that’s what he ends up doing, though he’s a bit rusty. He thinks it’s okay though, because Kinkade’s smile never falls, even when one of them mess up. Kinkade doesn’t look as comfortable in ballet as Lance feels, but he keeps up perfectly fine, and he pulls moves off well enough. Lance knows he could do better with the proper clothes, but today seems to be for fun more than practicality. 

  
  


They switch to a more upbeat song eventually, and the two of them have fun doing a not perfect tango followed by an even worse hustle. Kinkade pauses the music to get them water, and Lance sits down. 

  
  


“Thanks for this,” He says, tipping his water at Kinkade, who does the same back.

  
  


“It’s really no problem. You seemed really down this morning when you dipped out of breakfast, and sometimes you just gotta let loose,” Kinkade says and sips from his bottle before slumping against the wall. “I can’t imagine how much you have to be stressed over,” He says softly, most likely not wanting Lance to react negatively to the topic.

  
  


“Eh, more like a lot to think about. I have to weigh my options. It’s guaranteed that I won’t be partVoltrontron soon, though I never really was, and I need to know what I’m doing next,” Lance says, happy that he has someone he can talk to. He feels comfortable around Kinkade, a kindred spirit who he can confide in. 

  
  


“What do you mean?” Kinkade asks and one of his eyebrows is raised. There’s no judgement in his eyes, just genuine curiosity, and again, Lance’s heart is affected. 

  
  


“I missed my family a lot, but being back on Earth these past few have made me realize that I don’t belong here anymore.” It was a sad realization, but one he needed to have if he was ever going to be happy in the future. “I made friends out there you know?” He says, thinking about the planets they had made alliances with, about all of the invites he had gotten personally to come back and visit whenever he’d like. “I just can’t give it all up. Even if I’m not a paladin of voltron, even if I don’t have the weight of the universe on my shoulders anymore, I can’t deny that part of me that wants to keep exploring.” He’s looking at Kinkade, but he isn’t really seeing him, his mind fluttering off momentarily. 

  
  


“A lot of them are still messaging me on my comdevice,” He adds, a lot softer than before when he thinks of his last message from Gev’ri, the prince of an incredibly technologically advanced race that was far out of Zarkon’s reach, but they considered in possible danger due to their location. His friend had explained a lot about the species customs to him, and then went on to complain about an upcoming meeting he had to partake in. He missed the other, it’s been a while since they’d been able to video call due to the dangers and war. 

  
  


“Don’t want to stay with the Garrison I suppose? And what do you mean about being a part of voltron?” Kinkade asks him, and leans in due to how low Lance had been speaking. He sounds a little concerned, but again there is nothing to indicate he has anything bad planned, so Lance just shrugs. 

  
  


“Honestly this place just feels like a prison to me, and not very welcoming. You’ve probably heard a little of it from some of the other paladins, I know they’re friends with the others in your groups. Most of them aren’t exactly super fond of me. It felt like I was just an extra in someone else’s story I guess,” Lance says this while picking under his nail, trying to come off an nonchalant as he could manage. 

  
  


“If it makes you feel any better, I think you’re my favorite paladin,” He says, and gives Lance a tiny fist bump of encouragement. “And honestly I did hear some of the stuff they said, but it kinda felt like a lot of bullshit. Especially from a certain person, but I don’t want to start any fights.”

  
  


“It’s fine, I know it was probably Keith. He and I… we have a lot of history and I think at this point he’d rather be this way to me than think about everything that’s happened and what all of it would mean. I was really mad for awhile, now I think I’m mostly over it. In a little, I won’t have to worry about him anymore, or anything having to do with the safety of the universe.” Lance wiggles his toes and rolls his ankles. “I’ll probably never go back out there though. Space that is, not like before.”

  
  


Kinkade stays quiet for a few moments, and Lance is worried maybe he’s getting too personal, until Kinkade offers some wisdom. “I think you will. Something tells me that you’re not quite a fit here either. In a good way. I feel like you’re someone people fuck over then realize down the line they threw away someone who had the ability to hold the entire universe in the palm of their hand. You’re too big for the earth.”

  
  


“Too big for the earth,” Lance repeats, the words reverberating through his head as he mulls over the words. “I think I like that,” He says, and it feels like maybe, just maybe the weight of the universe doesn’t have to feel so heavy on his shoulders. 

  
  


Kinkade and Lance share a look, before Lance is standing up and going over to the control panel. “Now let me show you what it really means to dance,” He says, flicking to find the song he knows is perfect for a small contemporary piece. “I’ll blow your socks off.”

 

 

* * *

 

 

The next 8 days pass by with a much lighter mood. He still has his moments, he’s bound to, especially with how time is ticking down with unknown numbers to when he loses the ever present gentle buzz of Red that he’s become accustomed to. Lance has seen the other paladins, whether it be in the hallway or the cafeteria. Once he saw Hunk as he and Kinkade were headed to his dorm to find something to watch after training. He went to wave, but Hunk had turned away at the last moment, and he was left standing there. Kinkade had pulled him back to reality, asking a question on one of his space friends. Livyra to be specific. 

  
  


Every time he sees one of them he gets ignored, so he’s decided to follow suit and not even try to give them hello’s anymore. Putting energy into them would just be too tiring anyway.

  
  


Kinkade and he become closer, and they learn more about each other. Lance tells him all about space, about many of the species they encountered and even shows him the large journal that he kept notes in. He’d have kept them all digital, but he preferred writing all of his things down so he never forgot how to. He’s heard the horror stories. He even shows Kinkade pictures of some of the friends he’d made, and scenery. Kinkade is enamoured by it all, and says he’s promising himself to see it all in person one day. Lance hopes he can keep it. 

 

Lance learns a lot about Kinkade too. That he doesn’t have many close friends, because he’d been so focused on learning how to grow as a student and on his studies that a lot had passed him by. He also didn’t have the best social skills from what he could tell. Not with people he didn’t click with that was. He does have friends from back home, people who he does write to, and those he lost in the war with Zarkon. Lance understands, he does, he’s seen so many people lost in the war he surprises himself with the fact he can continue smiling. 

  
  


He also finds out that the two of them have even more in common, and Lance finds himself increasingly in high spirits as the days pass. It’s been a long time since he could be this comfortable and worry free with anyone, and it feels nice to not have to fear judgement or ridicule. 

  
  


Lance is rubbing the bottom of his foot after a hand to hand training with Kinkade when he hears his communicator buzz from where it sits on the control panel. He stands up, confused as to who could be messaging him. He checks the photo and I.D that pops up and grins.

  
  


“Hey Kinkade I’m really sorry but I’m gonna have to cut this short,” He says and Kinkade looks confused but shrugs, nodding in understanding. Lance gives him an appreciative smile as he slips his shoes and accepts the call. He plugs his headphones in, waving at Kinkade as he rushes out of the door. 

  
  


It only takes him about a minute to get to his room with him running as fast as he could to get there. He knows it’ll take a small amount of time for the call to actually connect, and he wants to plug his communicator in and transfer the call to the larger screen he has on his wall. He shucks his shoes off again and bounces onto his bed, doing just that. The call finally connects as he transfers it to the other screen, a wide grin across his face at the sight of his friend. 

  
  


“Lance!” The person says, equally as happy to see him, if not more so. Gev’ri is a very humanoid alien. Lance and him had met some time ago, and had run into each other after the formal alliance meeting between Voltron and the Nocqui had concluded. 

 

 

* * *

 

 

_ Lance was on his way back to the ship to get ready for the celebration being held when night fell, and had been trying to figure out if he would have something to wear when someone tapped his shoulder.  _

  
  


_ The Nocqui, Lance had learned from his strolling around the planet were a pretty tall race. The person who had stopped him was probably about half a foot or more taller than Lance himself, so he had to look up to acknowledge the other. Lance gave them a friendly smile, remembering that this specific person had been seated right next to the King and Queen. He had a softer green color for his skin, closer to mint that the forest green that the king had. The Nocqui had markings all along their skin, and Lance took a moment to observe the ones he could see that donned this person’s arms. It was a mixture of swirls and jagged lines, and Lance had the strong desire to trace them. He couldn’t see it well, but he knew their dark green hair was tied back in a braid. Their name however, was lost on him. _

  
  


_ “Red paladin of Voltron, Lance? Right?” They ask, and they bow their head to him, to show respect and his face heats with a light blush. He still isn’t very used to people viewing him in admiration, he doesn’t think he ever will be. _

  
  


_ Lance nods in confirmation, “That’s me,” He says, the smile still firm on his face, but there is no doubt that the small hint of disappointment has made itself evident. “I’m sorry but I can’t remember your name, what was it?” He asked, hoping the other was not offended by his forgetfulness. The other paladins would kill him if he ruined the alliance.  _

  
  


_ “No problem, you’ve been introduced to many people today!” The other said cheerfully, and placed a hand in the center of their chest. “I am Gev’ri Asanje, only son to the King and Queen of this planet. It is a pleasure and honor to meet you,” Gev’ri says, and his six fingered hand rests on Lance’s shoulder and pats. He’s pretty sure it is a greeting similar to a handshake, so he reaches up and repeats it.  _

  
  


_ “You too! Did you need something before the event? Because you’d probably be better off talking with Allura, they don’t really like me doing diplomatic things,” Lance admits, and embarrassment fills him with the feeling of rocks in his stomach. They had told him to direct people back to those actually in charge, and it leaves a bitter taste in his mouth. He is perfectly capable.  _

  
  


_ “I wanted to ask you a few things specifically. If you have time could you come with me for a walk?” Gev’ri asks, and though it’s an odd request, Lance knows that individuals have sought out other paladins before as well, and he doesn’t think that it would be an issue to go along, so he nods.  _

  
  


_ “As long as you promise you’ll help me find my way back to the ship,” Lance jokes, knowing he’d get lost in the large tall hallways of this castle. It’s all very regal, and it reminds Lance of the photos he had seen of the Palace of Versailles. It’s all very elegant, lots of purple and gold all over the place, portraits of past royalty and paintings of beautiful scenery from places all over the planet.  _

  
  


_ “Oh my, once when I was younger I visited a neighboring planet and got lost in their mall,” Gev’ri says, and Lance hears a twinkle sort of noise, and he’s about to ask what it is when he realizes that it’s Gev’ri’s version of a laugh. Lance thinks it’s one of the best sounds he’s ever heard.  _

  
  


_ “I got chased out of a mall, pretty sure I’m banned from it, but I got an animal out of it so it wasn’t a big loss,” Lance gives in return, and the twinkling gets louder as Gev’ri clutches his own shoulder and covers his mouth. Lance notices that Gev’ri’s teeth are quite pointed, something he had failed to notice about any of the others he had met.  _

  
  


_ “That sounds really fun actually, you’ll have to explain more in depth eventually, because I have a serious question for this walk.” That makes Lance’s thoughts skid to a stop, for he has no idea what serious topic besides Zarkon and the Galra could come up, all things that should go to Allura. “You may not know, but the Nocqui are an incredibly perceptive and empathic race, at least, many of us are. It was not lost on us how you and the other paladins felt during the meeting.” _

  
  


_ Lance rubs the back of his knuckles in nervousness, wondering where exactly that Gev’ri was going with this. He knows full well how upset he had been through the entire meeting, despite the fact he had kept face and had a smile on the whole time. “What do you mean exactly?” _

  
  


_ Gev’ri stops walking and turns to Lance, motioning that they can sit at the bench that they’ve come across. Lance complies, and nods so Gev’ri can continue with what he was saying.  _

  
  


_ “During the meeting, it was clear that you were uncomfortable. After discussing it during the break, a lot of the council noticed and we were concerned that we were the cause. After observing though, we realized that wasn’t the case, and that it was actually the other members of voltron that was making you that way. And whenever you tried to give your input, it seems like you got cut off, or silenced.” Lance is… shocked to say the least. Not even he had noticed that he was getting shut down, probably because he is just so used to it that it slips by without a second thought. “I offered to come and ask you what it was about, and if there is anything we can do to ease your worry.” _

_ From that point, the two of them had spent the rest of the time before the event talking, after Lance had explained that the others didn’t see him as an academic equal, but that they were trustworthy people and that he didn’t want it to affect their decision to form an alliance. Gev’ri promised not to break the alliance, and asked Lance if he’d prefer to spend some time exploring the castle instead of going back to his ship. It only took the promise that he would give Lance proper celebration clothes to wear and a quick method of cleaning to get him to agree.  _

  
  


_ Lance had learned much about Gev’ri and the history of the planet, and Lance told Gev’ri a lot about the earth, and how he wants to go back eventually. The two had exchanged communication codes with one another, and a promise to keep in touch. Lance had worried about going out of range for Gev’ri but was promised that the way the Nocqui send messages can reach very far, as long as they know the location. It was the beginning of a very enjoyable friendship and they had grown much more comfortable with each other. Even if Gev’ri disliked not being able to spend time in person. _

 

 

* * *

 

 

“Have the lions cut off their connection with the paladins yet?” Gev’ri asked, his hands occupied with sectioning off his hair so he could braid it. 

  
  


Lance shook his head, “Nope, but Coran found me the other day to tell me that there’s a small chance a few of the lions will choose their current paladin to stay with them. And that it’ll be happening before this earth week is over, which is in two quintents for you.”

  
  


Gav’ri shows an expression of surprise, “Do you think red or blue are going to choose you to remain? Do you want them to?” He asks, and this is why he prefers them to be in person, because it’s harder to read emotion over video.

  
  


“Not really, red has never been super fond of me from the start, and blue didn’t hesitate to cut me off when we switched lions originally. And honestly? I don’t think I have any desire to be a part of the next generation of voltron anyway. It’ll be sad, because human tech isn’t nearly good enough to space travel the way I want, but I’ll figure something out.” Lance stands up, and takes the time to change into clothes that aren’t sweaty, not minding that Gev’ri can see. The two of them are close, and he’s shown his wounds to the other enough it’s nothing new. 

  
  


Gev’ri doesn’t say anything, and he has a frown on his face. 

  
  


“Honestly though? I’m almost positive either red or black are gonna choose Keith to be their pilot again,” Lance says, a sigh leaving his mouth as he sits back on his bed. “Things like that usually just happen for him.”

  
  


“I’m sorry,” Gev’ri says, and Lance sighs again. “That is a great segway though, because I-well the Nocqui have a proposition for you.” He says, this time more hesitant than Lance has ever seen him. Lance raises an eyebrow, his mouth quirking open in confusion.

  
  


“Anything man, just know if it has to do with Voltron I may not really be able to help as much as I want to,” Lance tells him, because he really would do anything to help his friend and his friends family. Throughout their friendship, Lance had come to know both the King and Queen, Kil’game and Freiea, as well as many of those that were on the court. Outside of meeting settings, they were all very friendly and warm people, who often wore their heart on their sleeve. Lance thinks it’s because of how easily they can read each other’s emotions. Lance has also begun learning how to speak multiple alien languages, both the common tongue and specific ones, as he had a feeling he wouldn’t have the crutch of an instant communicator forever. 

  
  


The point is, he cares about the people of Mohgj, and if they need him to do something, he’s going to get it done. Allura still owes him one favor, so he’d gladly use it for them. 

  
  


“No, no, you’re misunderstanding me, silly!” Gev’ri says with a laugh and waves his hand dismissively. “This has naught to do with Voltron, it’s all about you.”

  
  


That makes Lance even more confused, but he taps his knee and listens, “Okay, what is it then?”

  
  


Gev’ri’s mouth twists into a wide toothed grin, his sharp teeth fitting perfectly together. “I’m so glad you asked! So remember the other night when you were helping me figure out which plan was best to organize the festival coming up, and then with how to set up the new alliance papers we have with the planet out in our quadrant 3?” Gev’ri asks, but it turns out to be rhetorical because he doesn’t give time for Lance to respond before he’s getting close to the camera, buzzing in excitement. 

  
  


“Well! My parents absolutely loved the advice you gave and then I explained you actually help a lot and even gave me some pointers on how to fix my screensoner when it broke and they want to offer you a position in the castle.” All of this is very rushed out and Lance just blurts out a very confused ‘huh?’ in response.

  
  


“Literally what.”

  
  


“Okay let me explain…,”

  
  


* * *

 

  
  


The castleship was finally done getting repaired by the time that a meeting was called on Saturday. Lance took his time making his way to where it was stationed next to the Garrison, not feeling any intense desire to rush there and see why the meeting was called. He knew why. They all knew why, they had all been anticipating this for upward of two weeks now. Unlike before, Lance no longer felt the twist of pain inside when he thought of losing his connection to his robot companion. Instead, he was actually feeling relieved if anything, he was finally going to be free from the others, and not worry about making a wrong move. 

  
  


He stepped into the meeting room with nostalgia crawling in his veins. He still cherished the moments when everything was good, when they could all sit around and joke and try to make each other feel better despite all the horrors that loomed on the horizon. They didn’t outweigh the bad, not by any means, but that didn’t make his think of them any less fondly. He saw that Kinkade was there, along with his sister and Griffin and the others he had assumed would become part of voltron now that their time was up.

  
  


He doesn’t look at Shiro, Pidge, Hunk, Allura, or Keith as he makes his way over to Kinkade. He does give Coran a wave, and receives one in return. He takes a seat directly next to Kinkade, leaning in so he can hear what the other says softly and he laughs at the joke. He’s about to reply when Allura takes her place up at the mantle of the ship, her announcement zone as Lance had dubbed it. 

  
  


“Thank you all for coming today, the castle has informed me that in a few short moments the lions will be choosing their next paladins, and you guys,” Allura motions to where Kinkade and the others stand, which includes his sister, “Are the most likely next choice. And you guys are here so when the new paladins are chosen, you can possibly give them a few pointers and some advice if they choose to accept.” Lance didn’t know about that, in fact, no one had even mentioned that they would still be required after the connections were broken.

  
  


Lance discreetly checks his phone, and lets out an inaudible sigh at the fact that it’s only been three minutes since he sat down. Kinkade just shakes his head fondly when he sees what Lance is doing.

 

  
When he sees that Allura is going to keep speaking, but that it appears to be directed to the new people, he starts to scroll through his phone until he hears a small sniffle from where Pidge and Hunk are standing. Hunk is wiping his eye and nodding to what Pidge just said, who also seems upset, though less clearly. Shiro looks like years of tension have melted off of his shoulders, and he has his head resting back as he looks up at the vast ceiling of the room. 

  
  


“It seems like the lions have since decided,” Allura says, and she is holding her own chest. Clearly, the blue lion has decided to choose a new paladin by the crack in her voice. Lance is sure she’ll recover, she’s strong, and with her recently found magic powers, she had confessed she wishes to spend time developing them further. This will give her the chance to do exactly that. 

  
  


“Allura, I have not lost my connection with that black lion,” Keith says once it is evident she doesn’t plan on continuing. “Does this mean that I am to continue my duties as the black paladin?” Keith asks, and he’s smiling. Lance is happy for him, as much that has happened between them, Lance wants all of the others to end up happy. He just doesn’t want to be a part of their future, not anymore. 

  
  


“Wow really?” Pidge says in shock and Keith nods. Lance saw this coming, so he isn’t exactly surprised. 

  
  


It’s decided that they’ll all go down to the hanger where the lions are held, to see who is chosen by each lion. Lance follows after Kinkade, and realizes that he can’t feel Red anymore, but he isn’t exactly hurt by that. Red and him were never close, if anything, he’s going to miss blue the most. Lance would really prefer not to go down to the hangar, but he doesn’t have anything better to do until it’s time for him to head out. 

  
  


He watches in interest as Kinkade gets chosen to be the new blue paladin, and it makes his heart soar. Knowing blue will be well taken care of means the world to him. He doesn’t pay much attention to what the other lions decide, because after he sees Kinkade looking amazed up at Blue, his phone alerts him of an incoming call. He ignores the eyes on him as he steps out of the room to answer it. 

  
  


* * *

 

  
  


He comes back into the room a few minutes later, having walked out of the castle to make sure that no one would be eavesdropping. He didn’t think they would, but it was a precaution he took on the off chance one of them tried. Allura noticed his arrival first, and looked at him with a bright expression. 

  
  


“Ah! Lance, you’re back, great, could you start to show Kinkade his way around the Blue lion?” She asks, in a way that it’s clearly not really a question or request, but an instruction. She’s turning back away from him to talk to the one with blond hair, someone who’s name Lance never managed to grab. 

  
  


“I can’t.” He says simply, and everyone's eyes are on him again. Kinkade is still looking at Blue, Lance had already told him of his plans.

  
  


“What do you mean?” Keith asks, venom in his voice, “Do you not want to help Kinkade? It is your duty as a former paladin.” There’s disappointment lacing his voice and it strikes Lance like the bite of a viper, but he shoves the feeling away. They have no room to judge him.

  
  


“I already told Kinkade all about Blue, and if he has any questions, he can ask me through message or video chat me. I have somewhere to be,” He tells them, and wants to see if anyone is going to ask what he means by that. Luckily, Keith takes another step closer, hand clenched at his side. 

  
  


“Somewhere more important?”

  
  


Before, Lance might have shot off an insult, yelled about how he doesn’t see the point of viewing this as important when none of them thought he was. But he likes to think that he’s matured a little, so instead of yelling, or throwing a fist at Keith, he takes a deep breath, and fixes his collar. 

  
  


“Yes, more important. I no longer have any obligation here, and because I think you all should know, I had a job offer and I decided it’d be in my best interest to take it.” Lance feels like he’s not in his own body anymore. Anxiety is wrapping it’s tendrils around the tips of his fingers, a soft buzz ripping through his entire body. 

  
  


“Where’s the job offer…?” Hunk asks from where he stands next to the yellow lion and Lance clenches his bag strap. He has his other bags sitting outside, where Gev’ri had said that some of the ship workers could get down to grab them and help him bring them aboard. 

  
  
  


“On Mohgj. With Gev’ri.” He supplies in a clipped tone. 

  
  


“But that’s-” Pidge starts but is cut off by Keith who is basically finishing her sentence. 

  
  


“That’s the furthest planet we came into contact to from Earth. How did you even get a job offer? What did you tell them you’d do to get them to give you one?” Keith demands, despite Lance mentioning Gev’ri multiple times since the two had become friends.

  
  


“You’re not entitled to that information, but if you must know the prince and I are good friends and they want me to help with plans for upcoming festivals and such. Not to mention I’ve been offered a permanent position on the council if my aid is useful.”

  
  


The shock on everyone’s face, excluding the new paladins, as they have no idea what is being discussed, gives Lance a sense of vindication. They all clearly have something to say, but Lance’s phone buzzes to alert him that Gev’ri and the ship are ready for him to board, and then take off. 

  
  


“I’ve gotta go,” He says, turning his back to everyone. He pauses at the door, looking over his shoulder at everyone. It’s sad, he thinks to himself, how different life could have been if he’d only been given a chance like he felt he deserved. “Maybe we’ll all run into each other one day, when we can learn to get along and you can treat people well,” He says, the last part directed at Keith. 

  
  


He doesn’t wait any longer to hear what they have to say, he doesn’t have the energy anymore. He’d rather spend his time feeling excited over him to move and possibilities of tomorrow. It’s been a long time since he’s felt like his future can be good, can fulfil him. It’s been a long time since he’s had to ability to lift his head and tell himself that everything’s going to be okay. But, as he takes his last step out of the castleship and into the desert, a large and sleek crimson ship above him in the sky, he knows he can do that now.

**Author's Note:**

> uhhhh i wrote this in a day and it isnt beta read !!


End file.
